She also used to say, ‘good men sometimes need a nudge in the right direction to do what they need to do.’”“Mama did say that, didn’t she,�... says Rachel.“And calling me darling?”“Well, daddy, I figured if we do start living as man and wife, it will not do for me to call you daddy in public. So I need to start calling you something else. Mama called you, darling, honey, and dear, so I thought I would use those too.”“Baby, you know I love you more than anything in this world. I don’t think I would. I get closer to my dirty destination. My excitement… and anxiety increase. What if I suffer a heart attack? I visualise the headlines in the local paper: Respectable local man dies in brothel – partner never knew. Witty whispers: ‘He went before he came!’ I alight at Pokesdown Station – aptly named – and I’m reminded of a rough suburb of London. I stroll down Boscombe High Street trying not to look like a bloke visiting a prostitute. I’m outside and press the buzzer – I’m sure everybody is. I was the daughter some mothers wish they never had. For sometime after that, even though I knew I was prettier than average, I really thought the best part of me ran down my mom’s leg. I was a terrible person let alone, wife.”“I spent a week in the hospital after the miscarriage and the hysterectomy. I was lost. One of my nurses talked to me a lot and I wound up telling her my sad story. She gave me a business card of a therapist, Dr. Anne White, and said I should make an appointment. I did. "Isn't thatinteresting," he said, "our little friend here has it in herhead that she is an author of erotica. I suppose that may betrue, if you include the silly musings that pass forsexuality in romance novels. I'm sure that it is nothingthat really gets at the nitty-gritty stuff about sex thatinterests real men."Boy, did that man know how to push my buttons. I hadsomething to prove to him. Dick voiced his stutteringobjections-he wanted everyone to shut up and talk aboutsomething else. Fat.
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