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"Paul. I'm glad you are going to be all right. I asked to be notified when you regained consciousness," he said a bit hesitantly."Well, I will live, a...cording to my healer. Nice guy. Wears a robe with a hood up all the time. You can almost see his hair when he moves wrong," I said a bit forcefully.We looked at each other awkwardly. I was still pissed at him for his betrayals of me, and his manipulations of my memories. I guess we both thought it better not to talk about the past. We talked. I wanted to gorelieve myself so I wouldn't suddenly turn into a dog and thenimmediately have to go looking for a fire hydrant. After I finished mybusiness, I washed my hands in the sink and found myself staring intothe mirror, wondering what it would be like to see someone... somethingelse staring back.My own reflection wasn't really all that impressive. I was 5 foot 9 andhad a slender build that I'd inherited from my mom, along with my dirtyblonde hair color. My glasses helped give me a. I'd been unfaithful to her and all the while she was rightthere watching it happen! How must she have felt? This wassomething she had to work out of her system. As for my leavingher, I certainly didn't want to end years of our marriage, ourprevious good years and our potential future good years, allbecause of only one night. Because of one night's trickery by mysupposed colleagues -- that would really declare them thewinners. Or even only one week out of a whole lifetime, if shereally means to. ...Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off somehow.I wish I had someone to talk to about.
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