"I had been there about a year or so, when two of the girls, Julie andSamantha came up to me and ask, "Could they could have a word inprivate." I aske... what it was about, they replied, "Wait until we arealone," I was well intrigued. We went into a spare room where we all satdown facing each other; Julie was the first one to speak, quitehesitantly at first. "Well she said, I know it's none of our business,but, we have to ask this, all the girls agree, if it's what we think, Iwill just let you. She then handed over the money and closed the door. Rabia again pressed the button on the monitor and informed me about what had happened.She told me that it was her technique to tease the delivery person like that whenever she wanted to save a little extra on her orders. According to her, the delivery person becomes vulnerable after watching her private parts and that allows her to take advantage of the situation.Rabia: Did you see that, baby? I always pull out a ‘Marilyn Monroe’ to save some. ’ She replied. ‘Of?’ ‘You.’ She said. ‘Why?’ I asked. ‘I’m scared of rejection. I’m scared you’ll leave me, kick me out, tell me you hate me. I’m scared you won’t let me touch you again. I’m scared of what James will think. I love you. I always have.’ For the last six or so of the last eight years of our relationship, Trin would tell me every so often she loved me. She’d made it clear she was bisexual, and also made it clear it wasn’t a sexual love, but rather like the sister she never had.. My mother knew all about it and what caused it but refused to say anything. Eventually, it got to the point where the upper valve failed closed for six months. I could only eat about two tablespoons of oatmeal a day. Even that had problems getting into the stomach. My esophagus dilated and formed into something like a small storage stomach where food could seep into my main stomach. This actually benefited me years later. I became homeless. When I did get a chance to eat, I could eat almost two.
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